John's Broken Laptop
by I Dont Know What Im Doing
Summary: Waiting on hold for tech support turns out to be more enjoyable than John expected. JohnLock, Established relationship, romance/humor. Rated M for a reason.


** Warning for Smut.  
**

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_'There are 12 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.' _

The unpleasant muzak returned and John let out an angry sigh, much to Sherlock's amusement.

John knew patience wasn't one of his best attributes but holding for technical support for the past fifteen minutes was wearing out what little he had. Putting the phone back on speaker he dropped it next to his broken laptop and looked over at the other reason his patience was waning.

The other reason was sitting on the couch, legs up against his chest, arms around his legs. Looking endearing and innocent with his chin on his knees, Sherlock had been watching John have a fit about his computer with a wide grin.

Sitting at the desk, he glared at Sherlock and his damn grin from across the room. That fake innocence wasn't working at the moment. "You're not even going to pretend to be sorry are you?"

"Nope, because _I_ didn't break it."

"Yes, _you_ did."

Sherlock continued to smile angelically. He was enjoying John's tantrum far too much but John wasn't enjoying being the source of Sherlock's amusement one damn bit.

He tried opening another program and more nonsense filled the screen. He was about out of patience. "I know you broke it."

Still with that smile, the detective quizzed him. "And how did you determine this?"

"You were the last one to use it."

"And that clearly means _I_ broke it?"

"Don't you do that with me. I don't need to figure it out. You. Broke. It."

When he saw Sherlock attempting to cover his mouth behind his knees, trying to hold in a laugh, John started to look for something to throw at him.

The muzak paused. _'There are 10 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.'_

Looking back at the phone then up again at Sherlock, he debated whether it would be worth it to possibly lose his place in the queue by throwing the mobile at smarmy bastard. It wasn't really a surprise that Sherlock couldn't hold back his laugh any longer.

Upping the intensity of his glare he snapped. "Instead of reading my mind why don't you just fix whatever you did."

"Why?"

"_Why_?...Do you want me to throw the phone at you? What in the hell do you mean _why_?"

"Why should I? It's so cute when you're feisty."

It wasn't possible to glare any harder. "I swear Sherlock...Did you break my laptop on purpose?"

"Of course not."

"You better not be playing with me."

"Don't need to. Logically you're the one that damaged your laptop."

Sputtering trying to get out four different swears at once he reached for the phone with the intent to at least make Sherlock duck out of the way from the hurling object when the hold music stopped again.

_'There are 9 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.'_

It was a perfect reminder of how much he did not want to wait on hold all over again. Instead of lobbing the phone at him, John opted to throw a threat. "When the technician shows me whatever you did to my bloody laptop you best not be in the flat."

Sherlock stopped smiling and shifted to a very good impression of concern. "Fine." He stood up, dramatically pulling his robe tight. Stepping on and over the coffee table, Sherlock walked to the desk to stand behind him. Peering over his shoulder at the laptop, Sherlock studied the screen for a moment. "Show me again what's wrong with it."

John clicked another program and dozens of screens opened up. "See, when I click the thingys all this junk appears."

"The thingys? You mean the icons?"

"The whatevers!"

He could hear Sherlock behind him, trying not to laugh again.

"And don't you laugh at me!"

Sherlock cleared his throat. "Hmm."

"Hmm what?

_'There are 7 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.'_

"Christ, just fix whatever it is you broke."

Sherlock ran his fingers through John's hair and purred into his ear. "_I_ didn't break it John."

A shiver coursed up his spine at the sound of that voice. He knew just where this was going. "No. God damn it, no! Get the hell away from me."

John tried to stand up and move away from his soon to be grope-y partner but Sherlock was too quick. Long arms wrapped around him preventing an escape. Holding him tight Sherlock leaned into him forcing John to step forward into the desk.

"Sherlock! Don't even think about it."

Sherlock pulling them tight together, nuzzled into his neck. Breathing in deep, letting out a pleasurable sigh, ignoring John's struggles. "Think about what?"

With a long wet lick up his neck, Sherlock began grinding against him, and pushing back into the erection that was now pressing into his arse, John began meeting the sway of Sherlock's hips.

_'There are 6 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.'_

"You're..such a bastard."

Licking at his ear, Sherlock replied, "I am, aren't I?"

John went back to wiggling his way out of Sherlock's grasp when his shirt was roughly pulled out from his jeans and hands found his bare skin. Sherlock ran fingers to a nipple and pinched it lightly.

"Oh..oh..god..

John tried, he really did try to resist, at least that's what he told himself. "Stop it...Sherlock, I'm not hanging up."

And he stopped trying when Sherlock's deep, lust filled voice murmured against his neck as he emphasized each word with a thrust against his arse. "Gonna take you whether you hang up the phone or not."

Groaning, John's leg went weak and he fell forward against the table bracing himself up with his hands so he didn't collapse on to his computer. Sherlock snaked his hands to John's jeans and worked the zipper down. With a bite to his ear Sherlock slid his body down pulling John's jeans and pants with him.

"Sherlock..oh...god."

"Mmm" Sherlock caressed his thighs and then eased his legs apart as far as they would go with his jeans only just below his knees. When John felt Sherlock's hot breath on his arse he did finally fall on to the desk, pushing the laptop out of the way.

_'There are 4 people in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.' _

"you're such a basta...oh my god.."

Sherlock ran his tongue down his arse. Oh god that tongue, that skillful tongue licked again across his arse. John moaned as Sherlock worked that tongue of his again and again across his arse, probing and licking, driving him wild.

"Oh...fuck...oh..god..Sherlock"

Reaching to grip the other edge of the desk, the laptop and phone and most everything else on the desk went flying to the floor. John was able to faintly hear _'are 3 people in the queue...' _before the phone fell off the desk. Bucking back into that tongue John called out Sherlock's name again and again drowning out the muzak still playing from the mobile.

And Sherlock kept right on through the clatter, focusing solely on turning John into a gyrating mess of moans. Working him so expertly John felt he could come just from that tongue against his arse.

When Sherlock's pulled away, he jerking his hips back, begging for more. His whole body was writhing against the desk and he closed his eyes to the sound of Sherlock unzipping his own trousers and positioning himself between his half spread legs.

He felt Sherlock's cock pressed against his slick arse and one hand gripped his hip. John pushed back, wanting, needing to feel Sherlock inside him so badly that he didn't register a thunk sound on the table. Just as Sherlock pushed inside him John heard the muzak again and opened his eyes to see that god damn arse had dropped the phone back on the table.

"Oh..god...you... bastard..oh..god.."

Leaning down, he kissed John's back while sliding his cock into his arse, driving into him hard and moaned "I..know."

_'There is 1 person in the queue ahead of you. Thank you for your patience and a support specialist will be with you shortly.' _

"Bastard...oh..god..." John rocked against the desk as Sherlock withdrew slowly, then pushing his cock all the way into him._  
_

Soft lips kissed at his back while he increased the intensity of his thrusts. John's legs were shaking, the desk was shaking, the phone shaking as it played that terrible muzak again. Sherlock snapped his hips back and forth; John could only moan between his ragged breath in response.

Increasing his pace, Sherlock wrapped his fist around John's cock, stroking him. Sherlock swirled his thumb over the tip with each thrust deep and John felt his release building tight inside him. The heat and sweat of Sherlock against his back as fingers dug into his hips, Sherlock driving into him, moaning and biting at his back sent him over.

In a medley of voices John called out "oh god..oh god..oh god.." as he came. Sherlock shouted out John's name as he quickly followed, coming deep inside him. And a faint voice from the mobile that neither of them paid attention to "Hello?..Is someone there? Hello?"

.. ..

"You're waiting on hold this time."

"No I'm not."

Lying on the couch John ran his fingers through Sherlock's hair while he sat on the floor fiddling with the laptop.

"Yes you are. And stop screwing with my computer."

"Mmm."

A couple more taps on the keyboard and Sherlock handed it up. John snatched at it and checked to see what else Sherlock broke. Yet it didn't take long to discover his laptop was now in working order. John stammered. "What did you do?..How..How did you fix it?"

"Mmm?"

"What the hell Sherlock?"

"Make sure to have the anti-virus running next time _you_ download porn."

Too many thoughts hit John at once, stunning him to silence. Sherlock climbed onto the couch straddling him and grinned that endearing, innocent grin. "Yes. I know. I'm such a bastard."

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**Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading. Feedback/reviews/critiques are greatly appreciated.**


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